8 Ways to Get Yourself De-Friended (Or at the very least—mocked)

A recent study released this spring conducted by psychologists at at Brunel University in London, England should serve as a warning to CrossFit athletes to stop annoying the world by constantly boasting about our lives being one giant personal best.

The study, which followed 555 Facebook users, concluded that people who often post about their diet and exercise routines are narcissistic, even sick in the head.

Last I checked, our entire community is notorious for posting pictures of their #dark-chocolate-BCAA-protein-bullshit-shake-that-helped-them-improve-their-back-squat.

A British media story reporting on the study added: “Sadly, there is no cure (for narcissism), although you can just ignore them.”

You can ignore. Or you can defriend the way you do when someone keeps harassing you with Candy Crush invitations.

After surveying both CrossFit and non-CrossFit athletes, the 8 most common ways CrossFit athletes annoy, aggravate, and generally drive their Facebook friends nuts, are as follows:

8. You refer to CrossFit WODs as people in your status updates: “I have a date with Fran tonight.”

7. You hit a new personal best every day and you replace the ’s’ with a ‘z’ when you let the world know about your daily #gainz.

6. You bore the world with new records on movement sequences you have never measured before, and will likely never measure again: #8-rep-max-front-squat-plus-two-push-press-into-a-back-off-the-platform-PR

5. You change your profile picture each week. Every Sunday night, one handstand picture replaces another. We get it. You can balance on your hands.

4. You create a fan page after barely qualifying to Regionals for the first time. You’re sure to thank your sponsor (by sponsor, I mean your friend owns an apparel company and gave you a t-shirt).

3. You’re a coach and you post about how you’re revolutionizing athletic performance through your unique and groundbreaking strength training methodologies—methods others have been following for years.

2. You post a 500-word mass thank you novel to everyone and anyone who may have contributed in some tiny way to your performance after each and every local recreational competition.

1. Your posts have hidden messages. You post a picture of yourself after a workout, dripping with sweat, your tanned ass hanging out of the underwear that you call shorts, and your boobs busting out of the two sports bras you’re wearing, with a caption that reads: “Summer has arrived!” (But what you really mean to say is “Look how hot I’m looking these days.”)

So if posting handstand pictures and telling the world about your #gainz is causing your friends grief, and making you look like a narcissist in the process, then what is a CrossFit athlete to do?

Before you start thinking about posting a picture from your #date-night-with-my-man” instead of your #date-with-Fran, consider this: The same study from Brunel University found a connection between publicly professing love to your romantic partner with low-self-esteem. But apparently, it’s ok to post about your kids. It might even say you’re conscientious, the research revealed. 

So the next time you’re overjoyed about a max snatch, consider posting a picture of your daughter next to your #PB. At least you’ll look like a conscientious narcissist.


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